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Some Info Snacks to Nibble On
By Peter Bohush
My never-ending quest to find out where the Information Superhighway is heading
has finally brought me some supreme guidance.
Residents of Seattle can use tiny, hand-held computers and even high-tech
writswatches to receive information such as maps, bus schedules and messages.
Trying one out I realized two things:
- It's really hard to read a map or a bus schedule on a wristwatch. And,
- People with enough money to buy eye-damaging techno-gadgets like these don't ride
the bus, therefore don't need bus schedules on their wristwatches.
They need their watches to do other things. Like tell time. And to order
expensive things from Nordstrom from an interactive video buying service.
But if you happen to be sitting at a bus stop, squinting into your watch to see
if you've already missed your transfer, nibble on these info snacks:
- Data collected by Direct Magazine indicate that technophiles drink more cognac
(and beer), travel more often and play more golf than the overall population.
- The Grammatik style- and grammar-checker in WordPerfect 6.0 has "politically
correct" advice for writers. An example: "Try to avoid using girl or girlish to
refer to adult women. Try young person, young woman or woman." The add-on Frank
Sinatra Style-Checker advises using "chick, broad or dame" or the more generic
"dem or yous." No wonder Novell sold off this program.
- DivorceX offers to expunge all traces of your ex-spouse in your family photo
albums, using the popular software Photostop. The proprietor scans the photo, erases the
unwanted party's image, and reprints the picture -- all for $100 to $200 a pop. What if
you get back together? No problem. Just say, "Put the broad back in" and he'll
reinsert it by the same process so she can erase you and your big mouth.
- Most computers are putty gray because European laws mandate this neutral color
for most office equipment. Packard Bell offered systems with removable plastic panels that
allowed a consumer to make a fashion statement by adding splashes of colors such as teal
or azure. (As in, "Azure as the sun rises in the East, I can teal this is my
computer.") Sherwin-Williams has a cheaper solution.
- Electronic Billboards has a computerized system that inserts images into the game
picture seen by TV viewers, allowing home viewers to see billboards that aren't really in
the ballpark. "Holy cow! There's a line drive through the Coke sign in right
field!" Will the next enhancement be virtual baseball players?
- Call it a cheap tabloid! When the Times of London, owned by Rupert Murdoch,
slashed its newsstand price by one-third, its circulation went up 46 percent. Seems thos
Brits like their news on the cheap side.
- The telecommuting smoke screen? A researcher who studies telecommunicating is
skeptical of claims that productivity rises when employees are left to work at home since
e-mail is often used to "impression-manage" a situation, creating the illusion
of improved worker productivity.
- Finally, guest rooms in 19 Ritz-Carlton hotels will have interactive video and
entertainment systems from Lodgenet, the third-largest provider of cable TV and on-demand
movies to hotel rooms. This I find unnecessary. I'm easily impressed by those
"sanitized for your protection" strips across the toilet bowl. Besides, at the
price of one of these rooms, I'd stay in my room to get my money's worth, even if I had to
watch C-Span all day.
When not watching Congressional subcommittee hearings, Peter Bohush
is a real estate broker.
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